The Problem with Catholicism

Catholicism has a strong lineage of philosophers that comprise today's frontier of academic Christian philosophy. As a truth relativist, I do not attack Catholic theology. While Catholicism affirms absolute truth, its theology is internally coherent—meaning it can easily coexist with my worldview. Since my truth relativism views truth as relative to paradigms, my critiques focus on behavioral norms rather than coherent ideas. 

I reject modern culture. Catholicism has a strange conviction to negotiate with modern culture, and does a poor job of resisting its vices. So, I reject Catholicism.

I reject modern culture for a reason: it ruins almost everything it touches. This is an evidence-based observation and not prejudice. Negotiating with modernity has damaged Catholicism much. The most reliable metric for foreseeing societal decay is a high out-of-wedlock birthrate. Unfortunately, specific data on Catholic out-of-wedlock births is scarce (though it roughly mirrors modern Protestants). So, I will turn to casual sex, a metric nearly synonymous with clear findings. Both in theory and practice, the Catholic norm has become alarmingly amenable to it.

• In Theory: In a Pew survey, 62% of Catholics said casual sex is sometimes or always acceptable—the highest of any Christian group. That compares to 54% of mainline Protestants, 56% of Black Protestants, and just 36% of evangelical Protestants. Among the religiously unaffiliated, 84% said the same.
• In Practice: Beyond provocative anecdotes from the adult industry about Catholics—things like Ron Jeremy saying that he got to f--k Roman Catholic chicks and "fulfill every fantasy that every Jewish boy ever had." (WTF?)—behavioral studies show that on average, Catholics gravitate toward casual sex. Trends like these form the basis of a reasonably documented psychological phenomenon known as the "Catholic guilt cycle."

All casual sex causes societal collapse or increases its risk. Same with high out-of-wedlock birthrates and premarital sex. (Although the latter is almost universal).

One can only speculate on why Catholicism is amenable to casual sex. I suspect it has something to do with the Sacrament of Confession, where the kinds of sins that the Sacrament assumes jurisdiction of are routinely forgiven. This could lower the perceived consequences of certain behaviors, or it could make certain behaviors feel like they belong on a bucket list of experiences to check off before death. Whatever the actual reason may be, it is undoubtedly tied to failure to resist modern culture.

Satan—not God—is the demiurge holding modern culture together. Satanism is just the drive for greed and lust for power, and Satan is the Biblical or literary archetype of this. Modern culture would fall without all the corporate entrepreneurs. It will inevitably fall—don't get me wrong—but Satan is the force that allows for degenerate values and counterculture to prolong.

Satanists are the only group who benefit from negotiating with modern culture because they profit by exploiting it, which holds modern culture together for a long time. In contrast, Catholics—by their conviction to engage with modern culture—are voluntarily fighting a losing battle. They are trying to negotiate with Satan. And—like anybody else, they succumb to his ways. We see this with their amenability toward casual sex.

Obviously, Catholicism is so schismatic, popular, and diverse that it is hard to pin down any universal trait. This is humorously ironic, since the word Catholicism is derived from the Latin word catholicus, which inherited the Greek word katholikos, meaning universal. Nonetheless, Catholics universally struggle against Satan, which I prefer not to do. If I wanted anything to do with modernity, I would just be a Satanist. Instead, I reject modern culture and refuse to negotiate with it.